Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Afghan papers Episode 3.

My time on Facebook is numbered. I'm over it. Here is some of the stuff I wrote over my time in Afghanistan that I want to save here for posterity. Eventually these will all be culled together along with various things I wrote on paper but cant be damned to look for right now. Enjoy.


Fear and loathing in Kandahar.

by Paul V Hurtt on Tuesday, July 19, 2011 at 3:50am ·

"I feel the need to vent this out really quick. It bothers me to no end this trend Im seeing of Drill Sergeants, or friends of Drill Sergeants posting pics of the 'goings on' I guess of what goes on in Basic, ie: Posing next to a group of privates in the front leaning rest and posting that as your profile pic, or something totally unbecoming of a DS. Maybe im looking too far into it, all I know is the Drill Seargeants I HAD would never in a million years do that. Unprofessional Gents..Un-fucking -Professional.
Maybe someone is thinking "You're looking too far into it" I call bullshit. To me in my mind, aside from shit-ass movies that usually miss the mark anyway, or documentaries or what have you, that type of thing is sacred. Its to be seen by the Private who elects to enlist (buy the ticket-take the ride) and the Drill SGT who is SUPPOSED to be the Unrelenting-Uncompromising symbol of Excellence. It shouldnt be put on FB for kicks, or to impress your fucking homies.
I DO NOT apologize if this offends you, or if one of your friends happens to be an individual im talking about."



Fear And Loathing in Kandahar II

by Paul V Hurtt on Saturday, September 3, 2011 at 7:00 pm

If you ever have the chance to Deploy with a Cav Unit..Pass. I havent written anything..period in awhile. Between being sick, sick and tired, and busy theres just no time.
I like to think that the Army in itself has evolved since say..Vietnam. But I find with increasing measure that you dont have to be Very bright to be in Some MOS's. This shouldnt come as a shock, MP's are not the brightest by any stretch but the Unit we are attached to; the "Troop" or rather 'Gang' of Degenerates we live with cause me more disdain than any long patrol, or never ending guard shift. The Soldiers themselves arent so bad but the leadership..My god the leadership..I digress. We live in the company of a pack of Wild dogs. Some of which we've adopted as our own. They go out on patrol with us and well its just plain nice to have the companionship of a dog, especially ones here that are starved for attention and well..just plain starved.
They have existed peacefully here since the Cav took over the Camp. No issues.
Now..they want to shoot them and bury them in the Hesco walls surrounding our camp for "Health reasons". Nevermind that thte dogs dont actually come inside the compound, save for one small puppy "Bear". Bear was adopted by the Troop 1sg until he decided to relieve itself on 1sg's door. Now its a "Health issue". The only "Health Issue" ive noticed here at PSS-8 is the lack of cleanliness in the Kitchen that gives us all a nuice healthy dose of the shits every couple of weeks (please continue to send canned goods and noodle bowls) Or the fact that none of the CAV Soldiers shower.....Ever. Lest we not forget the Chow tent that has Mice that crawl across the serving table behind the Mermites. Ive named one Tim. These are the only "Helth Reasons" Ive noticed. But who the fuck am I right?
These Shitstains that we live next to are the same breed as the Marines who toss puppies off of cliffs for kicks, or shoot animals in the street for kicks. "Hey look at me im tough", "Hey ill just play the cliche to a T". This is why soldiers get a fucking bad rap.
Again im not sure the direction of this rant, all I can say is this; I would beat a worthless human shitstain to a pulp before I would shoot an innocent Dog, cat etc... I got it, some will say Im overreacting. Well Fuck you. Dont read.
You stay Classy Cav-guys.






Thanksgiving.

by Paul V Hurtt on Wednesday, November 23, 2011 at 5:29pm ·


Once again this year, being away again you realize you are thankful for more and more. First and foremost Im thankful for having the Wife and dauhgter that I have. My wife who loves and supports me despite the fact Ive been less than stellar. My daughter who doesnt quite understand why I have to go away for long periods of time, but who will hopefully realize years from now its so she and the rest of the kids in the Hurtt clan gro up safe and dont ever have to see what I see.
Im grateful for King Floyd holding down my spot on the couch at Castle Hurtt.
As always I am grateful for the Music that enriches my life From Cannibal Corpse to Miles davis and ALL in between. Especially the 100 or so hours of Led Zeppelin I just got from a buddy...I needed it.
I cannot in good name mention Music without mentioning how thankful I am for my closest friends in the same breath. Joe, Kyle, Lamar, Alexander and Gio. The love of extreme music brought me to knowing them and having the time of our lives. I miss it.
I'm thankful for my family which supports me everytime I get on the ramp to leave, Mom, Dad, Sara The Hurtt family In South Carolina and the Pedersen family in Minnesota..God I miss you guys.
Im Especially thankful for being deployed with the best platoon in the 58th. 3rd platoon. Un-damn-touchable. Noone has worked harder, NO ONE. I cant wait for the day we're all reunited and we get on the plane to leave.
Im eternally thankful that i met an old friend- SSG Martinez, an Outlaw. In the 5 minutes that we talked- years of memories came flooding back, it was Awesome. It was by no coincidence that 4 former Outlaws were in country at the same time all these years later. Im thankful for the wealth of friends Im graced with and the goodtimes we've had.
Im STILL and eternally thankful for the laying of hands on the right guitar, played throught the right amp will change your life. Marshall, Fender, Gibson, Jackson, you name it I love em.
Thankful for the gift of perseverence, All I will say on that.
Eternally thankful that I can still deploy and fight for my country with my Mind and Body (although both have a few dings)
Im sure im leaving something out, but thats all I can think of for now. Enjoy all. Happy thanksgiving.






Joe Frazier

by Paul V Hurtt on Saturday, December 10, 2011 at 5:41pm ·



..Im speechless right now because i dont know how on earth I missed this. Joe Frazier Passed away last month. The Mighty Left Hook...One of the FEW men ever to catch Muhamed Ali in the ring, not only did he catch him he ran over him. If you have never seen Joe Frazier fight all you need to do is watch one of his three war's with Ali (Preferably Ali- Frazier III- 'Thrilla in Manilla") Frazier never not once backed down from Ali- the fight got so bad Frazier's trainer Eddie Futch had to stop it in the 14th round- something for which Joe never forgave him.
.. For all of Ali's shit talk during the 70's Joe Frazier supported Ali during his Disbarrment from the title, provided money for his family while he couldnt fight and praised him in public. Joe Frazier mastered the art of the left hook as seen in his first bout with Ali. Ali later said that his final fight with Joe "was the closest he'd ever came to death'
.. Joe dedicated the latter part of his life training fighters in Philadelphia PA, He is the TRUE peoples Champion. Right now the Heavyweight division could use a few Joe Frazier's. Its a damn shame..
.. Nothing else to say, Joe Frazier- one of the all time greatest Heavyweight Champions.
Rest in Peace.






Fear and Loathing in Arghandab.

by Paul V Hurtt on Friday, February 17, 2012 at 7:24pm ·



The rain is coming in droves (Can it do that?) I bore witness once to what heavy rain can do to this country. That was the Savage year of our lord 2005. Its Cold- the Kind that doesn't let up, coupled with the rain its just as bad as the heat during the summer. This is no vacation thats for sure, but thats Obvious. My nerves are Raw. It hasnt been hard the past few months, by all means the polar opposite. We just make things hard on ourselves. Ive harped on this before- ill leave it alone for fear of being repetitive.
I miss My girls, I miss My home, My garage, My Sanctuary. I miss King Floyd.
I miss Hendrix, The Stones, Clapton and Robin Trower LOUD while I barbecue. I miss the same things that every other person here misses I suppose but this is my note..So I miss it more.
I miss taking Shae to the guitar shop, Imparting the 'true Knowledges' of the guitar upon her. (to borrow from the parlance of our time) Hoping she will one day feel the Magic, the Power and the Glory (if you will) of learning your first song, learning those impossible chords, stringing together that first scale. Now im daydreaming.
We'll get there....
The time away, the distance, the Angst- the helplessness. Its an awful Goddamn price to pay. The Military is one King Hell (HST) Master to serve. " It is a mistress that you will fall in love with when you are young, but will leave you high and dry for a younger man the minute you cannot serve her faithfully". Im not sure where I heard that before but its a close approximation to the Original.
I miss cuddling on the couch with my Baby, falling asleep to whatever HORRIBLE movie we chose to watch. I took those nights for granted and I want them back dearly.
Enough on this for now. Stop your sniveling.
Yours in Fear and loathing,


- H.
( Barracks Atty. at law/ Anglo Saxon Rep. for the COP M.S- Brown Power Movement.).. 'Wink' @ Malabo :)








Sparkly Faced Vampires are Decadent & Depraved.

by Paul V Hurtt on Thursday, February 23, 2012 at 1:36am ·


The Revolution WILL BE televised.
It will be brought to you by Mark Zuckerburg and Facebook, with an option to buy.
It will be hosted by the sisters Kardashian.
Dont worry about pausing for a beer, you can Tivo it
The Revolution WILL BE televised.


The Revolution will betelevised
It will be dissected, parodied, copied, burned and chopped on youtube.
The Revolution will show Marines urinating on Taliban bodies-
but no highlight to Honorable GI's being plowed into a dumpsite with
Obama, the Air Force, Congressmen and Senators shrugging their shoulders.
No sir, the Revolution WILL BE televised.
The Revolution WILL BE televised.


The Revolution WILL BE televised
Stephenen Tyler, JLO and Randy Jackson will have the deciding vote.
It will happen right down the block, but at 10 dollars a gallon you may not be there.
It will go down on a Saturday night, so you'll need a babysitter- I hear Caylee Anthony is available.
There will be a tell all book, but it wont be on your nook or kindle so you may be shit out of luck.
The Revolution WILL BE televised.


The Revolution WILL BE Televised.
Republicans and Democrats alike will tell you everything is fine.
Grandma's, college kids and the Snooki's of the world will Occupy it.....
And the Nat'l Guard and NYPD will stifle a giggle and say "how cute'..
Ann Coulter and Nancy Grace will be named Secretary of Defense and Cabinet minister respectively
and they will make Bush and Chaney look like Lloyd and Harry.
Damn right the Revolution WILL BE televised.


The Revolution WILL BE Televised.
The Veterans that you've ignored for a decade now will sit back and watch the damn thing burn.
Maybe if IED's started popping up on I-95 you'd pay attention?..Thats if Janet's Nipple doesnt get there first.
The Revolution WILL BE Televised, coast to coast. Hollywood will do a remake.
You were wrong Kanye..Bush hates ALL people and Chaney doesnt look like he does because of triple bypass surgery
No, no, no those are the Ghosts of almost four thousand American Soldiers weighing on his soul,
The Revolution WILL BE Televised


The Revolution WILL BE Televised.
Dr Drew will have the cure for it..if the ratings are right.
Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and the BACHELORRETTE Will NOT seem relevant anymore.
The Revolution WILL BE Televised ,the theme song however will be Auto-tuned.
We will never find WMD's..The Revolution will put you in the Drivers seat....
Of a Prius.
The Revolution WILL BE televised.


The Revolution WILL BE televised.
It will have a W-I-D-E stance and hit harder than Chris Brown.
There will be No APP's, LOL's, OMFG, or GTFO's but you'll tweet about it.
The Revolution will be Performance Enhanced, Chillaxed, Epic, Im Just sayin..
The Revolution will not go down better with Coke.
The Revolution WILL BE televised.


The Revolution WILL BE televised.
Hunter Thompson, Gil Scott Heron and the people who tried to warn us
are rolling over in there graves. They were right.
Vote for no one in '12 that will get their attention.
Occupy your Jobs and your Family first. All wall street is is a tourist spot for Idiots
looking for the business end of an NYPD style beatdown.
The Revolution WILL BE televised.


**** Big Thanks to G.Scott Heron.


- H.
(Barracks Lawyer/ Attorney to the Bearded at Large)









Kandahar Airfield is Saigon for Boyscouts, Video Gamers and Energy Drink Freaks.

by Paul V Hurtt on Thursday, March 1, 2012 at 4:19am ·



After 9 months of being close quarters to those you work and sweat with- Anonymity is a luxury. One I like to indulge. A place like KAF's boardwalk would seem like an unlikely spot but its easier than you think.I picked acertain spot on accident and well it became MY spot for close to four days. I would drink Coffee..real coffee, not Army coffee out of a box. And watch people. Lots of 82nd, lots of 10th Mountain. Contractors, Navy, Air Force.
Watched a soldier doing PT around the boardwalk track lunging and power wallking with his Body Armor and weapon. Nice. You'd love my Job. Ate dinner with my compadres at a restaurant that will remain nameless but whose name comes between thursday and saturday.. Anyway, we were enjoying our meal when behind us a trio of females who have obviously been watching the war on TV from KAF complained loudly about the quality of food and lack of service. Really? This is the first time in 9 months ive had HOT consecutive showers. I shat in a real toilet today.
But these three found room to complain. Well Fuck them. Try the MRE Diet. Works wonders.
Where were we?...Boardwalk..KAF....Coffee..Check.
Saw some old Friends. Sometimes its the best thing in the world- other times I feel like if I see someone Ive known a long time I might just scream. It's hard when youve treaded water for so damn long and you see the people who have made things work for them. Cant blame them, but you can see the question marks in their eyes..certain smells, sounds and sights bring memories flooding back.If you can time it right, listening to 'Stairway to heaven' just as the sun comes down behind the boardwalk with a nice breeze flowing is magic. The amount of Money that flows through this place is staggering..Bootleg movies, Kabob shops, Tobacco, Energy drinks, rugs, Ice cream. Contractors, at least upward of a hundred different groups covering everything from the gym, the Chow halls, training..etc. KBR is no longer the big daddy here. Civilians run the place. They know it. It's all part of the Conglomeration of the Military- not Just the Army. When in Doubt- Contract out.I dont want to be here any longer than I have to. Too many memories, too many current opinions. Too many assholes- I got Hook armed by an NCO who reminded me to put on my Eyepro. KAF has no regulations regarding Wearing Eyepro. This is what happens when you combine rank and too much time.
If you find yourself here. Enjoy. My guess is within 5 years regardless of The U.S leaving this country Kandahar Airfield will remain a fixture. A Hardship duty station in the same vein as Korea. Dont believe me? Check out the barracks being built on the farside of the base. Have fun with that. Dont know where to go with this so ill close.We're so politically correct nowadays that Alcohol and fornication is a No-no, so we'll just take your money any other way we can. We'' shove America so far down your throat you have no choice but to spend that hazrd pay. Have fun Bubba.



- H.
( Barracks Attorney at large)






Kandahar Airfield is Saigon for Boyscouts, Video Gamers and Energy Drink Freaks.

by Paul V Hurtt on Thursday, March 1, 2012 at 4:19am ·



After 9 months of being close quarters to those you work and sweat with- Anonymity is a luxury. One I like to indulge. A place like KAF's boardwalk would seem like an unlikely spot but its easier than you think.I picked acertain spot on accident and well it became MY spot for close to four days. I would drink Coffee..real coffee, not Army coffee out of a box. And watch people. Lots of 82nd, lots of 10th Mountain. Contractors, Navy, Air Force.
Watched a soldier doing PT around the boardwalk track lunging and power wallking with his Body Armor and weapon. Nice. You'd love my Job. Ate dinner with my compadres at a restaurant that will remain nameless but whose name comes between thursday and saturday.. Anyway, we were enjoying our meal when behind us a trio of females who have obviously been watching the war on TV from KAF complained loudly about the quality of food and lack of service. Really? This is the first time in 9 months ive had HOT consecutive showers. I shat in a real toilet today.
But these three found room to complain. Well Fuck them. Try the MRE Diet. Works wonders.
Where were we?...Boardwalk..KAF....Coffee..Check.
Saw some old Friends. Sometimes its the best thing in the world- other times I feel like if I see someone Ive known a long time I might just scream. It's hard when youve treaded water for so damn long and you see the people who have made things work for them. Cant blame them, but you can see the question marks in their eyes..certain smells, sounds and sights bring memories flooding back.If you can time it right, listening to 'Stairway to heaven' just as the sun comes down behind the boardwalk with a nice breeze flowing is magic. The amount of Money that flows through this place is staggering..Bootleg movies, Kabob shops, Tobacco, Energy drinks, rugs, Ice cream. Contractors, at least upward of a hundred different groups covering everything from the gym, the Chow halls, training..etc. KBR is no longer the big daddy here. Civilians run the place. They know it. It's all part of the Conglomeration of the Military- not Just the Army. When in Doubt- Contract out.I dont want to be here any longer than I have to. Too many memories, too many current opinions. Too many assholes- I got Hook armed by an NCO who reminded me to put on my Eyepro. KAF has no regulations regarding Wearing Eyepro. This is what happens when you combine rank and too much time.
If you find yourself here. Enjoy. My guess is within 5 years regardless of The U.S leaving this country Kandahar Airfield will remain a fixture. A Hardship duty station in the same vein as Korea. Dont believe me? Check out the barracks being built on the farside of the base. Have fun with that. Dont know where to go with this so ill close.We're so politically correct nowadays that Alcohol and fornication is a No-no, so we'll just take your money any other way we can. We'' shove America so far down your throat you have no choice but to spend that hazrd pay. Have fun Bubba.



- H.
( Barracks Attorney at large)










There is No FREE bottled water in the U.S : RnR, Kuwait and sensing the Fear and Loathing of others....

by Paul V Hurtt on Sunday, March 25, 2012 at 6:31am ·




"Its been a long time since we Rock-n-rolled"
Thats damn right....
And here we are once again. Leave was fantastic. Getting to see the family was more of a stress reliever than i'd hoped. Aside from being a cheap drunk, driving like a lunatic (A jeep wrangler is NOT an MATV BTW..) all went well. King Floyd is Fat as can be. Shitty weather aside I couldnt have asked for more.
Kuwait is a trip..another Money Pit. Although they have streamlined the going home process more so than the last time I was there.


"Got my pills 'gainst mosquito death"

Thank you SSG Bales for solidifying horrifying thoughts in the minds of most Americans as to what goes on here in Afghanistan. For the most part everyone I met while in transit was genuinely thankful for what we do as Soldiers. But there were the looks...That wondering.."Is HE going to lose it?" " What has HE seen and done over THERE?" Alot of Vets get a bad rap as it is..now the stigma of the "Damaged, Morally and Socially Broken Vet" is stronger than ever. Thanks alot.


"No one plans to take the path that leads you lower, but here you stand before us all and say its over "


There is NO free bottled water in the states, most will find this comment amusing but for my Green-suiters far and wide, they understand the bottled water here is plentiful and free. Some cant handle the changes. Think on that.
My "S" Key on my laptop is fucked up. Thats all for now. More to come later.


"I was in the house when the House Burned down"





- H.
( Barracks Attorney for the Oppressed at large)






Mutineer; Early hour Musings from a 'Holier than thou".

by Paul V Hurtt on Tuesday, March 27, 2012 at 4:17pm ·


Got me good this time yessir....
I guess I come across as arrogant or Quote Better than everyone else un-quote. Damn that. I simply know where my truth lies.
The older I get the more the 'Grey Area' in life gets reserved for fewer and fewer....
This isnt based of some pompous theory, just what Ive seen with thine own eyes. At worst im cynical beyond my years but again- i'm simply a product of my environment. FURTHERMORE this insubordination will not be tolerated. Therse are desperate times. I find myself with no permanent home in this Ugly place. Do you know what that can do to a man? Ive resorted to vagrancy..sleeping underneath trucks..hiding under the boardwalk in plain sight. It doesnt help with the vast quantities of coffee Ive consumed since my return. Enough on this. Until Next time I remain,
Lookin out for #1,



- H.
( Barracks Attorney at Large.)







Long Live the Father of Loud.

by Paul V Hurtt on Thursday, April 5, 2012 at 3:19am ·




I'm absolutely at a loss of words. Its hard to compose this but I will. There was a 17 year old kid that I know that fell in love with the Guitar and playing Heavy Music. He sought out a sound that he heard inthe speakers and in his head and saved his birthday money from his 18th Birthday. Despite the fact he was leaving for Basic training in less than 2 months the opportunity was there. Done and Done. He didnt speed home from Waldorf that day because he looked in the backseat and knew it was there. MARSHALL.
There are PLENTY of imitators out there- you can walk into any Guitar shop in the world (Believe me Ive been to most of 'em) and you'll here "well it sounds like a Marshall" or "its Kinda like a Marshall". Not in a million years. Once you've stood in front of a Marshall JCM-800 full stack and Dimed it (put the volume to 10) hit an A chord and felt it M-O-V-E you. It permeates you, it alters you- you never go Back. Its Clapton, Hendrix, Randy Rhodes. It's Zakk Wylde, Kerry King, Jimmy Page, Eddie Van Halen. It is what guitarists who endorse "other" brands put behind dummy cabs to STILL GET THAT SOUND...
I also know a guy who got back from his first deployment to Afghanistan and Bought a Marshall JCM-800 Halfstack instead of a brand new car..That guy is 30 now. Has a wife and a daughter doesnt have as much time to play as he used to and I can personally vouch for him and say with certainty he doesnt regret that decision for ONE MINUTE.
I am not a famous musician, nor will I ever be. But when you have a Marshall amp Behind you- you have 60 years of experience behind you. Its like being able to play with the 95' Bulls or the 74' Pittsburgh steelers if not only for a moment. You're a part of history and you have the chance to MAKE history- It inspires you. If you're a fan of Guitar hero or Rockband- put down the controller, save your bucks and take the ride. You wont regret it.
In closing, If you want to play Heavy Music- shit, any guitar oriented music. You will not go wrong with Marshall.. Until then I remain,


Louder than Hell.


- H









No grand revelation

by Paul V Hurtt on Friday, June 1, 2012 at 5:28am ·





There is no grand revelation

It wont come and probably never will. You've been written off and tossed to the wayside so many times its ....
You're older, smarter, weathered. Use it. Nothing is going to change, just endure and fight back.
Endure.
Its right there with you and it has been since forever. You made the decision long ago and now you have to honor it. Now is not the time to rollover and die. Your epitaph has been re-written countless times and youve built the kingdom from which you stand from the shattered stone. You'll endure because thats what you do.You cant change the world but that does NOT mean it has to change you. One more go. Stand your ground.
In the end I will laugh last.








2016

by Paul V Hurtt on Tuesday, August 28, 2012 at 8:26pm ·



I am running for office. Oval office that is. Money is tight so any donations from friends and family wont hurt. There must be a Hurtt in the White House eventually. I figure I cant do any worse than a Mormon or the the guy we have now. No no no- no name calling or negative nancy attitude here. That will actually be my Campaign Slogan;


                                                     "Cant get any Worse"
                                                        Vote Hurtt in '16


Freak Power all the way. More to follow.


-H.









Why I Train.

Let me start by saying for the record that Jim Wendler's 5-3-1 program works like Gangbusters. My story is far from new. I (like Many) started lifting seriously around the 2009 time frame. Aimlessly wandering about the Gym with no direction, no plan and certainly NO FUCKING CLUE. My interest was initially brought on by John Sheaffer's AKA "Johnny Pain" now somewhat famous open letter to Greg Glassman and Crossfit

http://greyskullarticles.blogspot.com/2009/10/recently-ive-received-lot-of-emails.html.

Now fast forward a few months I'm introduced to Sheaffer's Grey skull Progression through his Strength Villain website. Now I start seeing words thrown about..Starting Strength..Mark Rippetoe...Bill Starr..Squat 'til you puke yada yada. You get the picture. I basically reverse engineered it. Went back and wore out the Google button.( That sounded VERY gay). Now without nut swinging too much I came across Jim Wendler and Elite FTS. I bought 5-3-1 right before I deployed to Afghanistan. As I said. It worked like gangbusters. In the span of about eight months My lifts went up as follows:

Bench. Aug 2011-205 lbs / Apr 2012- 315 X 3.

Deadlift. Aug 2011-225 lbs / May 2012- 425

Squat. Aug 2011- 225 lbs / May 2012-425

Press. Aug 2011- 135 lbs / May 2012- 225



And now for the rest of the story...

I've always been a fat kid. Since about middle school. I played no sports and was what you could say without a doubt lethargic (ask my Dad). This carried over into High School. NO sports..lots of Black Sabbath.

Now before this turns into an Oprah moment. I blame no one but myself. I was a lazy kid. I would rather have sat and played Nintendo than toss a ball around. My folks tried. My Dad took me to the gym on the Navy Base near where I grew up but I wasn't having it. Summer breaks I would sit around the house and shovel food in my mouth and play Nintendo and or listen to Music. Fast forward through four years of glorious Carb-back-loading MINUS the training and I Joined the Army.


I weighed in at the Baltimore MEPS station at 297 1/2 Lbs. Pay attention to that number because you will see it again. One Broken leg and 9 months later I graduated Basic/AIT from Ft Leonard wood Missouri at 199 lbs. Over the next 5 years between Basic and my first duty station Ft Polk my weight usually hovered between 230 and 215. I lifted weights intermittently played whatever sports were going on, and got pretty heavily involved in Boxing. Did I reach greatness? shit no. My first fight I got put horizontal in less than a minute. Good times. But I loved the training. loved the Heavy Bag work, Jump rope even the running.


Fast forward again I PCS to Belgium. I meet my future Wife and my stepdaughter.Life is good. A couple years of deployments and wear and tear deal me my first injury. Patelofemoral something or other. Army Doctors in all their 'D+ Med student' glory diagnose me with a Torn meniscus..then its not..then it is..then its 'runners knee'. You get the picture. Point being I'm out of the fight for about 8 months. I'd love to sit here and tell you for those 8 months I ate 6 times a day, supplemented with shakes and did what I could to stay thin. FUCK NO. I ate and drank like I was a Soldier stationed in Europe. Good Belgian Beer, Good Belgian food. Yeah. Carb- Back-loading like a Motherfucker. What was that Magic number again at the beginning of the story? 297. That's right Two hundred and ninety seven fucking pounds. My absolute heaviest. Back to square one.

All mellow drama aside about 6 months later I was back to running everyday and my weight down to about 240. Yay.




WHY I LIFT.


Pay attention Folks because I don't justify this to many. There are three Primary reasons I train. Many people that I work with have heard me say the phrase "I know the answers to the test". This is the meaning behind that phrase.


August 2004. Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan. 

One afternoon My Platoon Sergeant SFC Keith Lewis, my Team Leader SSG George Cyrus and I were conducting PT. We went for a run around the inner perimeter of the Airfield. It was about 150 degrees out midday so there were not a lot of people outside. We were trucking along, all was well. Slowly SFC lewis slowed down and stopped and bent forward. He stood back up and fell completely backwards. Flat on his back.

Heart attack.

My team leader and I performed immediate care  to figure out what was wrong. All I remember was screaming MEDIC at the top of my lungs.On the Airbase. And NO ONE was around. No one? How the fuck does that happen? Finally a Humvee rounded a corner about 150 meters up the street and we both screamed for them to stop. By the grace of god it stopped. Next came the part that will live with me for the rest of my life. STRUGGLING to pick him up. SFC Lewis was easily 255 lbs SOLID. I remember pulling him up. Lifeless. 255 lbs of dead weight. And I couldn't do it. SSG Cyrus and I both got him up and Buddy carried him to the Humvee. The longest 100 meters of my life. With the help of the two Airman who were driving the truck, we got SFC Lewis in the truck and over to Charlie Med (What is now the Canadian run NATO hospital) This incident haunts me to this day. Ya my run time was fantastic, my APFT score was great but at the end of the day I WAS NOT STRONG ENOUGH to get my fallen PSG off the fucking ground. And this was in the confines of a secure Airfield. This was in PT's and running shoes, I wasn't under-fire and I wasn't wearing body armor.



Chievres Airbase, Chievres Belgium. 2009 


Stationed in Belgium, I had recently lost a shit ton of weight and had lowered my APFT run time. The MP station that I worked at liked to schedule quarterly "training exercises"  between the Military Police, Local Belgian Police and the Air force Firefighters. Usually these excercises are leaked 24 hrs out to make the supporting elements 'look sexy' so someones OER or NCOER looks good. Its more usually to impress someone than to actually reinforce standards and training. Very Political right? More on that later.

This aforementioned 'Training exercise  was leaked appropriately 24hrs out. We were briefed at the MP station that it was to be whats called a "Mass Casualty' exercise  Basically your worst possible scenario. A fire, a plane crash, something that induces death on a massive scale. Now is it the right answer that we know about said exercise beforehand? Absolutely not. The right answer would be proper training, weekly rehearsal drills etc. Again more on the Politics of the Army later. All Patrols that morning were briefed on what was going to go down. There would be a call over the radio to all patrols when said incident was going to go down and where. Now before I go into details, I have to let you the reader know that these exercises have been SO RIDICULOUS in the past that when word gets out about said training exercise comes around some guys will actually drug deal with other Soldiers TO SWITCH SHIFTS! just so they don't have to participate. Lol...Have I done it? I plead the 5th. Today I was not so Lucky. I was Senior guy on the road. So we get our Brief, I go over it with some of the other guys on Patrol, good to go. I grab my coffee, hop in my Explorer and off I go. Here's a gem for you. Ill let AFN tell the story. And yes that is yours truly...


I hate this fucking video with a passion but Im posting it to prove A. I'm not full of shit. B. That if I look back  on it the harder I work. So lets get to the point of the video.

I get the call, chemical explosion in the building ass blood and guts everywhere...I show up and there are non-ambulatory casualties EVERYWHERE. And where are my other patrols? probably at the food court. So I do what I'm trained to do. Evaluate the casualties. I start working on em one by one. Theres a "fire" in the building that has chemicals and whatnot. So one by one I start moving the casualties behind my Patrol Vehicle. A VERY familiar dread creeps over me, theres roughly half a dozen casualties outside the hangar alone- I'm on number fucking three and I'm SPENT. Inside Im panicking because I realize again for the second time in my career IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH. I literally repeated this to myself in the midst of the smoke, fake blood, fire. And this time I was in Full gear- Second chance vest, duty belt weapon etc. You can see at some point in the video my sloppy- ass fireman's carry. A second chance vest doesnt weigh much at all nor does a fully loaded duty belt but try getting bodies off the ground at a rapid pace repeatedly. The gear gets cumbersome and hot. It sucks. eventually the "graders", "OC's", "CT's" whatever you want to call them called Index (Army speak for GAME OVER). I was inside the Hangar working on moving what felt like the 50th body and I didn't know INDEX had been called. I hefted the casualty over my shoulder in another piss-poor excuse of a fireman's carry and started for the Hangar door. My Legs at that point were on fire going on numb. I reached the Hangar door and told several people (whom I did not know were high ranking observers) to "get the fuck out of my way" with zest and was told game over. What the camera did NOT capture was me literally collapsing to the ground unable to stand on my own two legs.

The take away from this is that although it was a "Training Exercise" (which was deemed a success...for whom I do not know) For the second time in my Army Career I felt I had failed. Failed the "casualties" I had to help and had Failed myself for not fucking learning the first time..


Which Leads me to WHY I Train.


For the Army Push ups, Sit ups and a sweet Two mile run time are the triumvirate of "Physical Fitness". Yes lately the term "Functional fitness" has permeated the Military world. Crossfit, Insanity, P90-X. These are usually the most popular. Im going to digress a moment and say for the record the Army's Physical training Manual is SEVERELY lacking at best and Pathetic at worst. To sum it up for the most part we "train for the test" and not for 'downrange'- worst case scenarios. I have deployed four times and NOT ONCE did I  or anyone I know get in a "pushup contest", "sit up contest" or "2 mile run race" with the enemy. Never happened. I purchased a copy of the Official U.S Navy SEAL PT Training manual and its the size of a Modern Encyclopedia. The U.S Army's? the size of Reader's Digest.

Take the Pepsi Challenge yourself.
http://www.usuhs.mil/mem/hpl/NavySEALFitnessGuide.pdf
http://www.enlisted.info/field-manuals/fm-21-20-physical-fitness-training.shtml



Ill step off the soapbox now. I train the way I do because of what I said earlier "I know the answers to the test". Arrogant as it may seem or strange its true. Both instances in which I was "tested" I had a great run time according to the Army but I was weak as shit physically. After my "youtube" incident. I swore to myself that I would NOT make that mistake a third time. And I hold myself to that promise to this day. There have been ups and downs. I've made the mistake of believing that Lifting alone could take the place of any type of endurance training. That is indeed false and I've learned it the hard way. I've also learned the hard way the value of eating right. Not so much for the aesthetic value but for literally "feeding the Machine", eating to grow the right way.


I have NO desire to be a Power-lifter. NONE. Zero. Zilch. I have no desire to be a bodybuilder either. But I have learned that there are principles from both camps that work like gangbusters towards getting stronger and leaner. I've also learned that 15-20 min of sled drags, tire flips or farmers walks at a high rate of speed are infinitely better for conditioning and fatloss than 45 on an elliptical machine. And notice I did not ONCE mention crossfit in that last sentence.

\
To Paraphrase Dave Tate and a few others from EliteFTS. I train because its therapeutic. Some people build models, some people play basketball. I like to pickup Heavy ass shit and put it back down. Plain and simple. The only other thing that even comes close is Music. I could have a shit day at work, shit day at home. Nothings going right- But to put 400+ lbs on my shoulders, feel my legs WANT to buckle and my lungs scream and CONTROL it. SQUAT and move it back up and rack it. That's living. I train for my own sanity and well being. The older I get for some reason the more people in general piss me off. I'd rather spend 3-5 years in a squat rack dealing with my anger than 3-5 in prison for caving someones face in. No trying to sound tough. Its just the truth. For some Lifting is just something done on deployments or  'Chest Mondays'

                                                                         No thanks.


this is something I decided a long time ago would be a part of my life until I can no longer Physically do it. A Lifer you could say. The most important thing I've taken away as of late is to always continue to learn. Theres a METRIC SHIT-TON of Information out there. The best part of it? 90% of it is nothing new. Just shit that works. Barbell-centric training has been around for close to a Century. Why? it goddamn works.


I am by no means perfect. My numbers under the bar SUCK. I need to drop like 20 lbs off my waist and my lower back screams at me everyday. But I wont quit. Why? Fuck you that's why. I love proving people wrong. I love proving myself wrong.


THAT IS WHY I TRAIN.

G.I.F.D










Happy Halloween Fuckers!

In the tradition of the Holiday..Here's the 4 Kings in all their Glory. Stay thirsty friends....







































































Tuesday, October 30, 2012

RIP Kenny.

Today marks the 6th anniversary of the Passing of one of my good Friends. SGT Kenneth Bostic. Killed in Action in Iraq. I love you Brother and I Miss you. Rest Easy.


For those interested click on the link below.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Kenny-Bostic-Memorial-Youth-Athletic-Fund/207456030267

Wherever you go..there you are.


Accountability. That seems to be the permeating word in my head right now. Accountability for my words. Accountability in the Gym and diet. Accountability in general. That’s what brings me here. This foul year of our lord, Two thousand and twelve. So thus we embark on this Journey together. I’m Paul. This is my Blog. I like to Lift heavy things (“Heavy” is indeed relative). I also like to write. So here lies this abomination.I have goals and aspirations like everyone else; I guess writing about it helps.
Things I can Promise-
-Honest tracking of my Progress in the Gym and Diet.
-Naked/Semi-Naked women.
-Stories. Some sad, most funny, ALL TRUE.
-Naked Women.
Things I WILL NOT promise-
-Mercy for the following:
-Republicans.
-Republicans.
-Kool-Aid- swilling Cross fitters.
- Restraint and or Censored opinion.
-Posts every day.

That sums it up for now. Stay tuned. Good Night and Good luck.



Welcome to Hell.

Blah Blah blah.....