The Holiday Report.

Good evening everyone..Here are the end times. Egypt and Israel are about ready to incite WWIII, Gen Patreus went "All in", AC/DC are FINALLY on itunes, Hostess stock just went up- It's almost Black friday and oh yeah..Happy Thanksgiving


Egypt and Israel are in the News now. Looks like this is it..the big one. Will the U.S get involved? Sweet Jeebus I hope not. This is honestly 2000 years in the making. And it's over religion. Go Figure. Hey maybe it will look something like this.....

                                                                           Not Kosher?



Or this perhaps.......

                                                                  Definitely not Kosher.


For all you Zombie hipsters out there are you ready for this shit? Pure walking dead. No the answer is none of you are ready for this. We're all going down this year over a thousand year debate of whether to circumcise or not to circumcise....Wow. Bring it I say. Lets have it. if this is the best we can do in 2012 then it's time to pull the plug on skinny jeans, the Kardashians and Skrillex. In fact Im sure it will be Dubstep and NOT SLAYER that will accompany the Apocalypse. We deserve as such.


Which brings us to BLACK FRIDAY. You havenmt lived until you've been to the Mart of Walness on a Black Friday. No sir, Deployments, circle pits at a SLAYER show, or a car accident could compare to this shining yearly moment in American Capitalism.

                                                    What you dont see is me and my HATCHET.....


Disgusting is usually the word that comes to mind when Black Friday is spoken of. It's EXTREMELY hard for me to justify this in anyway shape or from when folks are TRAMPLED TO FUCKING DEATH-

For your edification...

http://www.ranker.com/list/13-most-brutal-black-friday-injuries-and-deaths/john-barryman

Another-

http://www.uncoveror.com/blackfriday.htm


It seems to me that it seems to be- If one should partake in Black friday one must go armed to the teeth. If people for the most part are allowed to conduct themselves on basically the level of cavemen/women. It is the job of the HUNTER to fleece the gatherer. I'll go to walmart on Black Friday. On this day there will be none more black. I shall bring the following (in no particular order or prcedence)

- Brass Knucks.
- OC Spray
- Riot Baton
- Machete
- Rope.
- 16th Century Mace.
- 3 scoops of NO Xplode.

Notice no Firearms. I beleive this should be a sporting event. Not shooting fish in a barrell. It should be a literall FREE for ALL...

                                                                               Win.


And as it turns out Gen Patreus decided to dip is wick into his Autobiographer this past week. She's not hot. At all. And now the Republicans Ace Card is through. Presidential nomination in 2024? Fuggeddaboutit. Done son. I was once given advice by one of my first Squad leaders "Don". He said "Pussy will make a man do stupid shit" and that advice has rang true to this day. Looks like for the second time in a decade Gen Patreus didnt have an exit strategy..HEYOOO!

                                                                               Derp.

"All In" or Just the Tip?                                                                      

Don't worry Sir..It's not like theres still troops getting killed in Afghanistan while you're getting blown by this "Intelligence Officer". Whats worse? She's "devastated" by her actions"...the fuck out of here with that shit. 

The only thing good this Holiday is AC/DC are on motherlovin iTUNES. FUCK YES. So go out this weekend and listen to some Bon Scott Era AC/DC, for this year may be it- our doom. That is all folks, I forgot to mention the Hostess debacle but yknow what? I could care less fuck fatty cakes. Stay classy people. Remain sexy at all times.

                                                                   Because I can.